We checked in to Dubai's glitziest new hotel - here's what we found

Where: The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai

How much: From AED1720 ($701) per room, per night

The pink Atlantis the Palm gateway has been a Dubai Tourism staple since it opened back in 2008 ... it's time to move on. Its sultry sister next door, Atlantis the Royal, set the tone with its lavish opening party, and the hotel has just celebrated its first birthday.

The hotel is on the Palm Jumeriah, an artificial, palm-shaped island that I'm sure Emirates pilots are contracted to fly over. Rooms look over the Arabian Gulf or to the Dubai skyline, and it is 45 minutes' drive from the airport.

Jenga. Instead of another super-tall skyscraper, the hotel is deconstructed into a series of stacked rectangles over 43 storeys. It took six years and US$1.6 billion ($2.3 billion) to build, and its sculptures are all water-themed, with a dancing fountain, which I believe is required under Dubai building codes; the fire-and-water Skyblaze goes off every hour during the day and every half hour after sunset, and draws a crowd every single time.

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The resort has 795 rooms including the Royal Mansion, which costs US$100,000 a night. (Yes, it's booked.) There are 90 pools, including one in each of the 44 suites or penthouses. My Royal Club room looks out onto the gulf, and the palette is restful - soft sand and the same turquoise as the sea outside, with bathrobes by Italian linen manufacturer Frette. Gold is everywhere: toothbrush, comb, razor, flipflops. My room also gains access to the Royal Club, which has its own breakfast, afternoon tea, and Royal Hour of canapes and champagne.

The hotel bristles with celebrity chefs including Heston Blumenthal and Jose Andres. Over two days, I'll lunch at Nobu by the Beach, take dinner at Greek seafood heavyweight Estiatorio Milos by Costas Spiliadis, and dine at Ling Ling on the 23rd floor, whose signature is the 24K gold A5 Wagyu and lobster maki sushi roll. The breakfast food hall, Gastronomy, includes a coffee roaster, raw bar and cuisines from every corner of the globe. Champagne and caviar abound. It is the biggest and most lavish brekky buffet I've ever, ever seen. Afternoon tea at the Royal Tearoom facing the fountain are popular with Dubai locals and the many visiting tourists. Each venue is either only open to people 21 years and above, or becomes kid-free after 8.30pm.

Ninety per cent of the Royal's clientele are slim, gorgeous and in designer clobber. Clearly, they've all been shopping on the promenade to the foyer, which is to run the gauntlet of luxury shops, from Vuitton to Valentino. Cloud 22 pool club is the hottest ticket in town; a clubby scene for those who like to dance in the infinity pool with a glass of champagne in hand. The floating lounges have views over Dubai, with decor by Dolce & Gabbana. Nobu's first beach club is more laid-back, and I sit at the beach bar for a momentous lunch of hits such as black cod butter lettuce and a crispy shiitake salad. Everyone is totally bikini-ready. Petrol heads gather in the porte cochere to watch the traffic jam of brightly coloured Maseratis and red Lamborghinis. Everyone is constantly photographing the hotel and themselves - get your glam game on or be the dodgy lurker in a bazillion pics on social media.

My spa treatment is the best of Dubai - a full body scrub with local sand, oud and dates. Turn up early as the spa facilities, which include saunas, are unmissable.

Explore more: atlantis.com/atlantis-the-royal

The writer was a guest of Atlantis the Royal and Dubai Tourism.