Toxic boss behaviour not limited by gender

It's been an honour and a privilege to see these women at work.

But, I've also experienced, witnessed and counselled others who have been subjected to some horrendous bullying, harassment and toxic behaviours from female bosses.

It is International Women's Day this Friday and I wanted to take this opportunity to put a different spin on things; to challenge my fellow women, particularly those in positions of authority in the workplace, to actually address the elephant in the conference room.

Traditionally, human aggression is associated with men in our society, largely because the way that men typically display aggression through easily recognisable physical and verbal behaviour.

Over the last 30 years, researchers have broadened their understanding of aggression resulting in studies being undertaken into indirect forms of aggression resulting in psychological, emotional, social status, and self-esteem harm leading to the development of toxic relationships, with female perpetrators leading the way.

Most women who experienced high school would recognise the mean girl trope that has become almost comical in its universality across cultural divides. What we don't often hear about is the workplace "mean girls" and their devastating effect.

This isn't a new concept: we haven't suddenly discovered a mean streak in some women in the last 100 years as more women enter the workforce. My honours thesis was on the early modern English witch figure and provided an analysis of British witch prosecutions to analyse whether the witch was a victim or a villain.

Reading case law from almost half a century ago led me to realise one key thing relevant to this discussion. The vast majority of cases involving female witch defendants were accused by other women: it was an accusation levied by one woman against another as a means of explaining hardships and harm that had befallen them, demonstrative of the seemingly age-old female rivalry stereotype that is often considered to underpin female relationships even today.

In my own work, as a careers counsellor, I have worked with many women who have suffered workplace aggression at the hands of a female boss, leading to significant lost self-confidence, low self-esteem, increased stress, poor sleep patterns and an increase in mental health harm. It is so often explained away as a woman trying to "make it" in a "man's world", trying to "fit in" with the other, male, managers, trying to be seen as an "pseudo-masculine": in other words, "the patriarchy made her do it."

There are also those who believe that what would be termed "strong leadership" in a male boss is being mischaracterised as "aggression" in a female one. But there is a significant difference between strength in leadership and bullying tactics.

One builds an employee up and provides opportunities for growth, the other destroys individual agency, confidence and reputation while cementing the manager's position of control.

Regardless of the gender of the manager involved, indirect aggressive tactics such as spreading rumours, using humour hurtfully, public shaming or humiliation, systematic confidence destruction, excluding individuals from a group, manipulating others' opinions of them or secretive actions with the intent to harm another socially or emotionally, are damaging.

Whereas I see the lasting effects of a predominantly patriarchal society still surviving in workplaces, I find myself wondering what the point of fighting for equality in the world of is, if we experience toxic workplace culture cultivated by indirect female aggression based in concepts of intragender rivalry and patriarchal assimilation anyway?

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This International Women's Day, I'd like to see women in all positions of power and authority use that position to smash the mould of what a manager "should" be doing in the context of the "old boys club"; to build up her team members, encourage inclusivity and bold collaborations, to advocate for her colleagues, and to celebrate the value of how she is different to her male counterparts.

By becoming a part of the patriarchal furniture, these female bosses are becoming a part of the problem that both men and women all over the world are trying to break down and address. IWD is about celebrating all women and the value they all offer to the world. It's time we remembered that we should all be on the same side.