Those five words might be tiny, but behind them is so much pain, frustration and humiliation.

That is how Sam Bloom started her post to Facebook this week. If her name sounds familiar you've probably heard the story, via the Bloom family's two books - Penguin Bloom and Heartache and Birdsong, or Naomi Watts' film from 2020, also called Penguin Bloom (she plays Sam).

A decade ago Bloom was in Thailand with her husband Cameron and their sons Reuben, Noah and Oliver, when she fell through a balcony breaking her back. Since that day she has had no taste or sense of smell. No use of her torso or legs.

"I died 10 years ago on January 7," Bloom writes on her Facebook page.

The words that follow are gut-wrenchingly heart-breaking, at other times there is anger, but there's also hope.

Bloom admits she's not one for anniversaries and her wedding anniversary to husband of 32 years Cameron "often slips my mind".

January 7, 2013 never slips her mind.

"On this day, I woke up in a Thai hospital bed, paralysed from the chest down. It's the one anniversary that I just can't forget, no matter how hard I try," she writes.

She said she's lucky she doesn't remember the six-metre fall straight down onto the concrete tiles, but her body does.

"Parts of me are so broken that I feel like a completely different person to who I used to be. At times I feel certain that the best version of me died on those blue concrete tiles," she writes.

"The grim reality of a life sentence in a wheelchair is never easy to accept. But, for all the physical pain, frustration and humiliation, it's the battle raging inside my head that is the hardest to overcome, especially at this time of year."

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A friend of hers, who also has a spinal cord injury, recently took their own life, and while Bloom's heartbroken admits she's never surprised.

"I don't judge them," she said.

"I too have wanted to end it all. Were it not for my family, and a scruffy little magpie that needed my help, I might well have chosen oblivion over endless hardship and suffering.

"I know it's not easy to share or hear these thoughts of suicide and misery, but it's important they are spoken out loud."

Bloom fights the darkness as best as she can, by finding a new purpose and embracing her anger, pain and regret. She turns these into something meaningful by loving her family, friends, and by helping others.

"I don't have all the answers. I don't think anybody does," she said. "Life is often unfair. Sometimes it hurts so bad. Almost too much to bear. I know this better than most.

"But, when I spend time in nature, and when I go surfing, I feel better. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. My heart becomes lighter. I'm happier. More hopeful."

Amid all the pain and anger, every day she spends with husband Cam, as she calls him, and their sons, every moment of laughter and every perfect wave are "precious gifts".

"Gifts that I deserve. Gifts that everyone deserves," she said.

"I may have died ten years ago but today I choose to live."

Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14 or beyondblue 1300 224 636.